'Nobody Sat On It' Isn't A Good Reason To Eat Something

My friend Kerry said this to her kids.  Isn't she a genius? I howled because it made me think of when we act like anteaters, sucking up anything during our day, unrestrained, too busy to care if we just ate an ant or a rock.  Okay, maybe you don't do this, but I boldly admit I have had my anteater days.  Like on Easter Sunday.

Anyway, when last I left you, I measured my body.  Then, I brought out The Tools.  Simple ones so as not to frighten me:  a measuring cup, a piece of scratch paper, a pencil and measuring spoons.  These will be my most influential and important pals for a while, so I consecrated a small spot on my counter as “Sheri’s Space.” Then, I started my day of normal eating. 

But there was a catch….I put myself on a budget, because that seems to work for me.  Some people count points, servings or have a food journal.   I respond to the actual counting of calories.  So, that being said, I played “Banker” and gave myself 1500 ‘dollars’ a day to spend. 

Everything was counted as it passed my lips, so that pretty much made my mouth a toll booth. 

I wrote the calories on the scratch paper which was on a clipboard, because it felt so official.  Every time I ate something, I was a nurse, charting at her station.  For this week, I just focused on eating no more than 1500 calories, no matter what it was.  And I found quickly that the cookie or few leftover Cheetos just cost me too much, threatening to use up valuable currency before dinner.

For some reason, there was comfort in seeing the numbers.  Since many things are labeled anyway, and some things I could quickly look up on Google (adding it to my Rogue Food list), I’d just eat, and add.  I didn’t even write down raw vegetables, because they are so low, and if I had to estimate anything, I’d estimate high. 

I became good at conversion pretty fast (4 tablespoons equals ¼ cup, 3 teaspoons equals 1 tablespoon, etc.) which I wrote down on a little strip of paper.  Our normal spoons are basically also 1T or 1t sized, so I could use those if I had caked the measuring spoons with butter or olive oil in the desperate rush to get a lunch together during the ‘low blood sugar’ tremors.  When I’d have a meal with multiple items, I’d start swapping things out if they tilted the numbers too fast.  It was like a little game.  Because weight loss is so damn much FUN. 

I was also counting on laziness to appear, because at some point, I’d think of a snack but it would be too cumbersome to measure.  I'd sigh and reach for something easier, like an apple.   

Pasta sucks when it comes to measuring it.  Try having a bowl of whole wheat spaghetti..."2 ounces or 1/7 of this box equals 180 calories--uncooked."  What crappy food labeler decided to punk us all with calculus equations?   Well, by day three, this pissed me off.  I was hungry and didn’t have time for this.  So, I took out my dissection kit (don't look at me that way; my husband teaches physiology), and I played the game.  I counted, divided, boiled and measured in my little kitchen lab to get to the bottom of this.  Cooked whole wheat spaghetti is about 160 calories per cup.  High five. 

Within one day, it became clear two things had been sabotaging me.  I have healthy food lying around but I’ve just been eating too much of it AND waiting too long to eat it.  That’s why I’d go from Extremely Satisfied to Ripping-the-Door-Off-The-Pantry to grab a fistful of triskets, leaving a cloud of cracker dust in the air from eating so fast.  

If you try this method, it would be interesting to see what starts to reveal itself to you about the past.   

I’ve done this for about a week to lock in some habits and get a better feel for portion sizes.  When I eat at a friend’s house and go commando without labels, I’ll be able to judge things better.  

As for the photo above, I tend to be very hard on myself, too tenacious with crisp and colorless routines and a punishing pace; just so very…German (I’m German, so I can say that.)  I’ve recently been having much more success when being gentle with myself and honoring anything that peacefully helps my body and soul become healthier.  Thus, I tossed my utilitarian measuring spoons, and bought those beautiful, medieval spoons.  They make me happy to use them and look at them and hold them.  

There will be days I'll hiss at myself in the mirror, but let’s hope there are less of those and more of the “How YOU doin’?”  

For my next post: She starts moving.