I turn 50 next year, on Easter Sunday. I love the symbolism of it all…rebirth, a new
life, a second chance. I’m also carrying
an extra 50 pounds from life choices and having two kids. I can no longer say “I’m carrying baby weight,”
because she’s almost eight now. I am not
ashamed to say I enjoy the occasional apple fritter, because when
the perfect one comes along, it needs to come home. My husband is a great cook and I am not. I love the smell of food, the sound of dishes
and the gathering of friends. Yes, I am
known to forget to eat when I write for hours, and then can devour half of a
baguette like a wood chipper. When my
son accidentally rolled his car a few months ago after he got his license, I
was known to reach for a few slices of whatever was on the counter. Boredom and stress are my triggers.
Prior to that, I never had a weight problem, ever, until I
turned 32. I am actually okay with my
dress size and I don’t mind the actual pounds.
What does bother me, is that I can’t paint my toes because I have a
fanny pack which has spun around to my front, and it makes it hard to
bend. I also miss wearing my wedding
ring. My fingers used to be long, making
my hands my best feature. Also, I take blood
pressure and cholesterol meds…my heredity is partly to blame, but my choices
aren’t helping. I hate taking pills and want to eventually stop. I love my doctor and I just want to show
some good numbers to him at my next physical because he’s an authority figure
and I need to make him proud. And I just
want to be able to cross my legs at the movies.
But the biggest problems with this weight, are my eyes. My son looked at ‘before’ and ‘after’
pictures, and he noticed the difference in my eyes. He was right.
My eyes look so much better when I care.
I won’t reveal my ‘before’ photo and weight, until I make
some progress. I’d like to greet my 50th birthday
with my best self. I want to walk up to
it, face it and say, “How YOU doin’?”
Will I peel off 50 lbs?
I don’t know. We all know
how to lose weight, but why do we fail?
For me, it’s motivation. I think
I represent that average Joe who just doesn’t have the time or energy to make
it the #1 priority, with the intensity and focus of all those super bloggers who
work really hard to keep it high on their radar. I can put it #1 on my list some days, and try
to work it into my week, but I fully acknowledge there are so many daily distractions
that exist to derail me. So, since I am
motivated by shame, I will try it out loud, in front of the world. There are sure to be ridiculous, poignant and
revealing moments that I will stumble upon, and I am anxious to write about them
all.
Welcome to my experiment. Can a
busy person stay focused and actually succeed within the confines of a parent-spouse-friend-daughter-volunteer-worker lifestyle? Where weight loss is one of seven children and not your number one
child? Come with me, and if you are anything
like me, you’ll know I’m doing it out of morbid curiosity.
Let’s see what unfolds.
