The Game Changer: Part 4 of a 6 part series

   (If you are just joining us, here are parts 1-3 to get up to speed)

http://freddiesmom50x50.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-game-changer-part-1-of-6-part-series.html 

http://freddiesmom50x50.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-game-changer-part-2-of-6-part-series.html 

http://freddiesmom50x50.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-game-changer-part-3-of-6-part-series.html

This picture still gives me the willies.  Our house looked like this for all of July.  I present to you: The Work Floor.  

  

“The Brutality Of It All”

The entire month of July was vicious!  Once we made up our minds that we were in Mode d’ Declutter, it meant treating it like a full-time job.  We fired all burners to get it done so that the rest of the years would run better.  People have hired me to help them declutter and now I was taking on the most difficult client:  me.  Good luck with THAT one, I reminded myself. 

The problem with staying in the same house for 21 years, is that you never had the advantages of Moving Day.  So, your clutter becomes attached to your home like a cyst.  This was our one chance to mimic the glory of tossing things as if we were moving to a new place.

I began by blocking out huge chunks of time: no appointments, no social calls, no answering the phone.  I had to arrange play dates for my daughter or find projects for her to help me sort.  When it came time to look through her things, I included her in order to teach her how to part with belongings.  I once tried the time-tested way of stealing her toys and getting rid of them while she was in school.  However, it backfired when she saw one of her things at the Goodwill.  So, we are now into Full Disclosure.

Then, I found an area in my house that could be my sorting area.  This was my kitchen table and part of the floor around it.  We agreed that we’d all be okay at giving up the table for a while.  We'd eat while standing over the sink or maybe even at a real restaurant or outside on the patio.  For the record, we haven’t eaten on the patio even once this summer.  So, you do the math.  If you said the sink, you’d win the gold.

Then, I found every box, laundry basket and empty container I had, put it in a pile, and used them often to sort, store, move around, empty again.  These were very helpful fellas.

Next, and this was the most critical to keep me from running out of steam, was to do it by item, and not by room. Plus, it had to be removed from its area and taken to the sorting area.  For instance, I had “jewelry day” and I would remove all my jewelry from everywhere in the house, and plop it down on the sorting table, and only declutter the jewelry.  And then on “DVD day”, I’d do the same.  I had other days like “book day” “dishes day” “linens day” “toy day” “recipe day.” I’d go and hunt down the items which were stored scientifically in Tetris blocks all over my house, and then bring them all together for a dusty reunion.  I’m sure I was a squirrel in my previous life.  And of course it was during the Great Depression.

Jewelry, jewelry...come out wherever you are.  I had papers to label 'giving away' and 'fix.'  The 'fix' pile will probably become the 'giving away' pile next month.  Note the hi-def mirror. Just like trying on jewelry at Nordstrom.

This is why I group similar items and take them to the sorting table: because an item gets power from its regular location.  If you declutter where it normally rests, you tend to let it stay because it’s the only thing that fits there.  But when you throw it on the table to stand next to its brethren, it shivers as you stare at it.  Many times, its power is lost as it is out-shined by the better stuff and therefore, it must go.  Remove them from their friends and some can barely survive on their own merits.  Like removing a Mean Girl from her clique.

Grouping helped me see the wheat from the chaff so easily.  By removing items from their home and letting them see the light of day on my kitchen table, I saw them more clearly.  They had to deserve to go back to their room.  And once I got rid of the runts, I knew it was okay if things were not in the perfect sized container or closet or even the right room…as long as it was together, I could move it as a pod to the right area when I’ve finished.

If you do this, prepare to stink and get sweaty.  But for gawd’s sake, at least have the decency to floss daily.  Have quick food on hand, and make plenty of room for piles and dirt. I won’t kid you.  It wasn’t pretty and it drove me crazy.  My tiny house is normally hard to clean and I found the areas that hadn’t seen anyone’s dust rag for two presidential terms.

During the decluttering phase, the floor was full, and our appliances continued to break and get fixed by repairmen coming over.  We were trying to actually have life with our kids, because surprise! they were off for the summer.   It wasn’t the perfect time to do this Life Overhaul, but there is no perfect time.  We just hope for short memories and that my kids and friends will forgive me for the Summer of 2012.

However, there, in the Valley of Shambles with its low-lying dust cloud, I caught the faint smell of triumph approaching. 
Part 5 of 6.  With LOTS OF Embarrassing photos.  Here is the link: http://freddiesmom50x50.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-game-changer-part-5-of-6-part-series.html  

The Game Changer: Part 3 of a 6 part series

 “Clarity”

 

 (If you've just joined us, here are parts 1 and 2 to start you off:)  http://freddiesmom50x50.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-game-changer-part-1-of-6-part-series.html

http://freddiesmom50x50.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-game-changer-part-2-of-6-part-series.html 

By Monday, I managed an inner light set to Dimly Lit.  In order to survive this, I had to adjust to the new mindset: We are going to get our house ready to sell.  We will do everything to make it the most absolutely and perfectly clean, decluttered, repaired and well-staged dwelling.  I know that is a pretty tall order, but I embrace excess.  

And then we are going to keep it.

Yes!  You heard me correctly.  Get it ready to sell.  And then don’t sell it.  

Remember my prayer, “Please give me what I need and not what I want.”  Well, it arrived.   

I begrudgingly started to see this was what I needed, but I didn't like it very much.  And just when I thought I had been shown the entire lesson of the summer, the kind Man upstairs reminded me of a second lesson.  It was something I already knew: Your house and your body are actually related. 

I was given two lessons for the price of one.  How did I rate a double scoop?

So, about this 'house equals body' thing.  Kitchens are the heart and certain rooms can be the ‘head.’  The reason there is clutter is because there is a room that is the rear end, plugged up and constipated, stopping the flow and thus, in bad need of an enema.   For us, it is our garage.

I feel like weight loss is harder in a ‘full’ home because of the distractions and clutter and unfinished projects.  Like I said, I like my stuff and it all has a place in my house, but I have come to the conclusion that my family and I have a life that is now bigger than our home can contain. I need more room in my house, just like I need more room in my pants.  If I had more room, I could think and focus on my weight loss and health. My things are spilling out of my house, like my tummy is spilling out of my capris. 

I’m spending my time in all the wrong places; too much back tracking, too much holding on to thoughts and things. 

Is this why my weight loss has stalled out?  Is this why there has been no progress?

And ‘physical items’ were not the only clutter.  The other type of clutter was the outdated way we did things in our home.  It suddenly occurred to me it was time to rethink my phone, our house, how I do coffee, how I interact on email, where we watch movies as a family, where my daughter plays, the way we eat, do homework, where we do our projects, how we do our paperwork, manage our home, interact with the family, where I get dressed, how we prepare dinner, where my to-do lists go and how I will manage the pile of deadlines for my son getting ready for college next year.  Even the rooms where my kids sleep are no longer the right rooms. 

I wasn’t ready for this, but it was coming in loud and clear that we needed to revisit our systems and the way we did things and lived our lives.  They served us well in the past, but they just don’t serve us NOW.  We’ve changed. Our kids are changing, so why are we doing things the same?  Our current setup has not kept up with us. 

 

House, body, mind, clutter, weight.  All connected like the Olympic rings. I knew it in my head, and now I was seeing it with my very own eyes.   I knew it was great that I finally saw how much I needed this lesson, but I was filled with dread, because now it meant I actually had to take some action.

Bring it, I said, taking a deep breath. Let the brutality of July begin.  

(Click for Part 4 of 6:  http://freddiesmom50x50.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-game-changer-part-4-of-6-part-series.html)